LOVE YOUR BLESSINGS; THANK THEM ONE BY ONE

DAVID AND FAJULO WILLIAM-ADUSA

When we started courting, the excitement and euphoria of finally finding “the one” after two previous unsuccessful relationships on both sides formed a nutrient medium for divine ideas.

As we pursued God and each other, we discovered bespoke ways to spice up our relationship. One such idea was what we called FAPs (FAVE Appreciation Points). For context, FAVE is the equation of our union; our hashtag, if you will. Fajulo + ABBA + Dave = FAVE.

The FAPs concept was quite simple but ingenious: each of us would text the other with one thing they appreciated about them, with a brief illustration of that particular trait, followed by an adverb describing how we loved each other. We did this daily for the ten months we courted—up until our wedding day.

Soon, we would run out of romantic adverbs. Afterall, we were no thesauri. But one thing was certain; we had discovered a key to a healthy marriage: DELIBERATE DAILY GRATITUDE FOR ONE’S SPOUSE. It was like a vaccine against over-familiarity.

Each FAP would open with “Can I tell you something I appreciate about you today?”, challenging us to not just name one blessing encapsulated in our partner, but also attempt to give voice to the inexplicable compelling love that burned in our hearts for one another.

Some of those FAPs really hit sweet spots and warmed our hearts to no end. But beyond being evidence of a blossoming romance, they taught us to keep a lookout for our partner’s strengths; to fish for the virtues and graces God hides in our life partner as He fashions them with us in mind.

Some FAPs were evident at a glance—anyone could’ve noted those. Others however, required pausing during the day to think carefully about this person you loved and were privileged to interact with on a deeper level. It could range from how they spoke your name, to the first note of their laughter.

This practice taught us to treasure each other as God’s masterpieces. And on days when no FAP readily came to mind, we learned to rely on the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to what we were missing out on.

By divine help, there was always a reason to be thankful; something about one’s precious partner that struck a chord of praise to Jesus for the kind of gift only He could have given: GOOD!

We’ll be nice and give you a glimpse at some FAPs:

08/06/2022 (first-ever FAP)

Can I tell you something I appreciate about you, today?

You’re mild-mannered

Thank you Jesus for Faj🙏🏾

I love you ❤️

– Dave

08/10/2022

Can I tell you something I appreciate about you today?

The fact that you’re a music person

How have I not ever mentioned this as a FAP? Mehn! Ina, you’re good. You’re skillful, you’re gifted, you’re anointed! Your choices and taste in music leave me awe-inspired. You love, make, and teach good, wholesome music. This is deep. This is so precious because I have a special thing for music too. God is the master matchmaker indeed.

Twale, Abba!🙏🏼🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️

I love you melodiously 🎶❤️🎶

– Faj

31/13/2022

Can I also tell you something I appreciate about you today?

Your consistency

From pre-ina days to June 6th and till now, your person hasn’t changed Ina. I mean this in the best way possible.

Your character is still as impeccable, your values, your dedication… Ina, thank you! Thank you for proving to be trustworthy time and again.

My heart is safe with you🥰

I love you copiously❤

– Faj

15/04/2023 (Wedding day)

Good morning my Love!

Can I tell you something I appreciate about you today?

You’re my bride!😍❤‍🔥

– Dave

1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that love does not keep a record of wrongs. Perhaps that’s because it’s too preoccupied with keeping a record of rights—a reason to keep bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, and enduring all things. I guess you could say love keeps a gratitude journal!

We consider it a privilege to be chosen to conclude this year’s edition of the RWC Gratitude Journal, and having spent 29 days harping on the first part of Jesus’s summary of the Law: LOVE GOD (and thank Him), we find it very fitting to cap it with the second part: LOVE PEOPLE (and appreciate them).

Love your spouse. Love your children. Love your parents. Love your friends (and your enemies). Love the family God has set you in. Love your roommates. Love the elderly. Love the young. Love your church members. Love the unsaved enough to preach the Gospel to them.

In short, Iove your neighbour!

Thank the God who sets the solitary in families for the people He has placed around you. And just as importantly, thank the people too.

©David and Fajulo William-Adusa