GRATITUDE

BY AYENI AYOMIDE GRACE

The year started pretty well. Everything was going on smoothly. Resuming back to school, exams, and every activity in school went very well until we had to go on strike, and everything that was going on almost effortlessly was forced to stop.

I didn’t put so much thought into it at first. I expected things to fall back into place shortly, but I never knew I was in for more than expected; I must say, it wasn’t all that pleasant. At first, I was encouraging myself that everything was going to be over soon, but it got to a point where the burden I felt was so overwhelming. I had lots of questions running through my mind, and it all kept mounting pressure on me.

The delay the strike was likely going to cause made me somewhat annoyed. I became fed up with almost everything around me. I had lots of days of bad moods. All I wanted was for it to end. I was so done with this unneeded break.

All this time, it was as though God was mute about everything concerning me; I felt alone and abandoned. I really wanted comfort and a way out, but it seemed I wasn’t getting any. Days kept rolling into weeks and weeks into months.

Then one day, I was alone, deep in thought. I was practically overthinking everything. Then I felt someone pulling my legs, trying to catch my attention. It was my two-year-old niece again! Normally, she’s clingy, but that day’s display was unusual, even for her. She wanted me to carry her. I was a bit reluctant because I wasn’t really in a good mood, but I carried her and sat on my legs. What happened next took me by surprise. She reached out to me, hugged me and said, “I love you.” I was really moved. I smiled and told her, “I love you too,” while hugging her back. She kept doing this at intervals on different occasions, and it was always right on time. It was as though she could see into my thoughts and understand how I was feeling. I felt she was passing a message to me, far beyond the hugs and love.

There was another time, precisely the day the strike got an additional extension when I got a WhatsApp message from my sister. I had earlier told her about the extension, so she sent a message saying, “Calm down, God is with you; Let’s see what God wants to do.” After reading that message, I felt peace within me. All my tense nerves became calm. That message changed my whole mentality about the whole strike and staying-at-home thing. The message made me realize that I was never alone all this while; God was in the equation all through. He has been comforting me all this while using the people I’m surrounded with. At that point, I grasped the real meaning of the hugs and love I’ve been receiving from my niece; it all made perfect sense in that moment. All the comforting words I’ve heard in the past about the whole situation, which I didn’t attach much importance to, came running back into my mind. The genuineness of those words felt so real that day.

At that very minute, I felt ashamed. I knew I hadn’t done well enough. I’ve always been thanking God, both in my prayers and worship, but at that point, I saw my insincere and untruthful heart of gratitude to God. I’d just been doing it for the record and fulfilling all righteousness. I told God I was so sorry I wasn’t thankful enough and that I wasn’t sincere and truthful in my thanksgiving to Him. I told him that I was grateful for everything He had done. Looking back through those months of the ‘delay’, I realized how much He had helped me to achieve. I was so blinded by the wrong things around me that I couldn’t see all He was doing for me in the background. I told Him I was truly grateful for this delay—it’s funny how you can be so thankful for what you once despised greatly.

And I just want to keep showing gratitude for everything God has done for me. Even when it seems like I’m not getting what I want, I’ll be thankful for the great plans He has for me. I will forever be grateful for all the people of worth He has surrounded me with, His goodness and great mercy, and the constant reminder that I am not alone. I will always be grateful for His arms of love comforting me. I may not be where I want to be yet, but still, I’m not where I used to be, and that’s because He has brought me this far, and I’m so confident in Him that He is ever faithful to perfect the great things He has started in me. His mercies have never once failed me, and they will never fail me. He came through for me in the past, and I’m so grateful that I won’t get stranded as He will keep coming through for me. I’ll keep showing my gratitude to Him always and forever because He alone is worthy.

We don’t have to wait until God performs that big miracle we are expecting before we show our gratitude. He does not necessarily need to come so big before we shower Him with worthy appreciation. The fact that we still have life in us is enough to be grateful to Him. Thanksgiving and gratitude to God should be our lifestyle. In the good, the bad, and the ugly times, we should always be thankful. It might not be easy in the bad and ugly times, but we should still be grateful, bearing the fact in our hearts that: we are not alone and that He is always on the lookout for us, planning great things for us in the background, which will be revealed at the right time.

© AYENI AYOMIDE GRACE

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